Fall - Part 1

This is a story that just about everyone that knows me already knows. But I am having a self-pitying day and I feel the need to write it all out again.

September 28, 2014 - a beautiful early fall Sunday. Andrew was still in China for business. The kids and I went to church, the farmers market and the grocery store. The night before I had planned out all our meals for the week and made our shopping list. Sunday was going to be taco night. We came home, dropped off our groceries and picked up our swim suits and our 80 pound puppy, McKenzie. Then we headed to a new place for the kids, Pulaski Park. My mom took my brother and I there a lot when we were kids. There's an easy loop around Peck Pond, just over a mile long. We were going to take a quick hike, maybe go for a swim and then head home for taco's, followed by a family movie while mommy folded about two weeks worth of laundry.

When we got to the parking lot, there was a dog, off leash, running around. There was a couple sitting on a picnic table petting the dog. They told us that the dog wasn't theirs. That it had been at the park for quite some time and no one seemed to know whose dog it was. Well, McKenzie and the stray (the kids and I named it Coco Puff for fun) instantly began playing together. I told the couple in the parking lot (and a few people on the beach) that if anyone came looking for their dog it was apparently coming on a hike with us and we should be back soon.

All was well it seemed. McKenzie and Coco Puff were running ahead of us, playing in the mud and swimming in the pond. Then they would run by us, splattering us with mud, causing the kids squeal with laughter. About halfway through the trail, it turns away from the pond and heads up a small hill. I took this picture of the kids just at the top of the hill...

About thirty seconds later, McKenzie ran up ahead of us on the trail. I could hear Coco Puff charging behind me so I froze in place waiting for her to run past me. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground in excruciating pain. I screamed for probably a full minute. Then I pulled myself together, knowing I had to take control of the situation for my children. Bekkah immediately began apologizing for every bad thing she had ever done in her life and telling me what a great mom I am. Tucker piped up, "And you feed us." Despite the pain, he made me laugh. 

I called 911 (luckily I had cell service!!) and told them I needed help, that I was at Pulaski Park, on the blue trail, almost directly across from the beach and I was pretty sure my leg was broken. The 911 operator was trying to get more information from me and Coco Puff kept jumping on me, apparently thinking I was laying on the ground to play. I couldn't help but scream in pain (and terror). The 911 guy told me that they had been able to use my iPhone to GPS me to a general location but they weren't sure if I was in Rhode Island or Connecticut (as the park straddles both states). So, both Gloucester, RI and Thompson, CT were responding. The first person we heard was the fire chief. He drove to the end of a road at the edge of the park and honked. Then he drove to the next road at a different edge of the park and honked. We had to tell 911 which honk sounded closer. Meanwhile, Gloucester EMS began hiking the blue trail at the beach where we had started and Thompson EMS began hiking in from Border Trail. The kids and I essentially began playing Marco Polo with the EMT's until they found us. 

And when they found us, I have to say I wasn't entirely reassured. The first kid to arrive looked twelve years old to me. I asked if my leg was broken, the kid smiled at me and said, "Well, my licence doesn't allow me to say, but yes, it's broken." I hung up with 911 and called my friend Kelley. I incoherently sputtered out the words Pulaski Park, kids, now and she was on her way. Then I called my dad to meet me at the hospital - I thought I would need a ride home, and my boss - to tell her that I had just fallen in the woods, was pretty sure my leg was broken and I wouldn't be in on Monday. To her credit she was horrified that I was calling while still lying in the dirt and told me to hang up already. The rest of the kids arrived (none of them looked much older than 12 either) along with the fire chief (an actual adult!). The fire chief gathered up our backpack, the kids and McKenzie and began hiking them back towards the beach and parking lot to meet Kelley. He left the kids to tend to me. After about half a second of trying to take my hiking boot off and me screaming bloody murder, they decided to forgo that and just pillow splinted it. Then they rolled me onto a back board and hoisted me up. I must have said, "Please don't drop me" at least thirty-seven times. They kept reassuring me that they weren't going to drop me. The head kid held my hand the entire time, asking me questions about my kids, my husband, my dog, etc., basically keeping me talking and out of shock. Those kids probably carried me at least a quarter or half a mile to an ATV that was waiting on a wider trail. The ATV took me to the road where the ambulance was waiting to take me to Rhode Island Hospital. 

This is where the details start to get a little hazy, from the pain, the small amount of morphine the EMT's were allowed to give me, and likely from my realization that I no longer needed to be completely in control - someone had found us, they knew my name and pertinent medical details, my children and dog were safe and I was on my way to a place that could take the pain away and fix my leg. I remember asking the EMT in the back with me if I was going to have to wait in the waiting room, and I remember her laughing at me. As soon as the stretcher entered the hospital I was surrounded by doctors and nurses. They cut my hiking boot off and I heard someone say, "We have no pedal pulse" just before I felt searing pain as my left leg was yanked, hard. The doctor then came and apologized and I told him he was not my favorite person. After that, someone mercifully started an IV and began pushing Dilaudid. My dad appeared and the doctors started taking x-rays. At some point the nurse put me on oxygen and started taking my blood pressure. She told me we would have to ease off the pain meds because my breathing and heart rate were falling, I remember telling her that it was OK, I didn't mind, she could keep the pain meds flowing. For some reason, I began calling people left and right. I called a co-worker at 10:30pm to cancel a business trip three weeks out. I called the church Sunday school coordinator to tell her that I didn't think I would be able to teach Sunday school that next weekend. Then, after making a series of ridiculous phone calls, I looked at my dad and asked, "Should I call Andrew?" My dad looked at me like I was from an alien planet and very slowly shook his head up and down and said, "Yesssss". I don't remember the first phone call to Andrew (apparently I made two) but I do remember telling him my left ankle was badly fractured and him saying, "Happy Anniversary" (our 12th wedding anniversary was the next day) and I burst into tears and handed the phone to my dad. The other thing I remember about the ER was being told that because of the swelling and eight or so large fracture blisters (warning: you cannot unsee this) that they weren't going to be able to do surgery right away. Instead they were going to put rods through my leg to stabilize the bones and they were going to do it under conscious sedation. The doctor explained to me that it was like roofies, I would be alert and interactive but I would have no memory of the event (or the pain). And I don't. But coming out of it, I remember hearing myself screaming. 

Fired

Even as I write this I'm not sure if I am going to publish it or not.

I have never been fired in my life. From anything. My streak ended this past Tuesday. In the most un-professional, amateur and ignorant way possible. After working all day and leaving 15 minutes later than normal, the director of the nursing home I was working for called me on my cell phone. I wasn't even home yet - a 10 minute drive. From my brief glance at the incoming number, I expected the school nurse (we'd already spoken once that day) so I was completely unprepared for what followed.

"I just wanted to let you know that we are no longer in need of your services."

Excuse me?

"We've decided to go with someone with more nursing home experience. More experience with surveys."

Now, if you're going to fire me and not have the decency to do it in person, at least don't LIE to me. We just had a survey and of the eight pages of deficiencies the state found, nutrition was no where on that list. So let's be brutally honest shall we?

I am not perfect. I do not pretend to be. When I was originally hired, the nursing home was privately owned by one eccentric, slightly crazy lady. I was hired for 4-6 hours/week. Max. About 15 months into my employment, the crazy lady decided to sell. The new administration had no such constraints and almost overnight, my position began to take on a life of it's own. For months, every time I walked into the building there was a new responsibility or expectation tossed at me. I was not always as agile as I wished I could have been. However, I have another job, two kids, a dog, a house, and a husband that travels for business more weeks than not. I did the best I could.

I deserved more than someone hoping to leave a message on my voice mail.

I also deserved the truth, which I believe to be, they want someone who can be there two or three full days a week. But then why not just say that? Because saying, we need what you absolutely cannot give us would alleviate the self-loathing and tears that have been me for the past 48 hours. (I also believe that if the state had found some nutrition deficiency I would have been fired on the spot but that is besides the point.)

A better person would make peace with this and move on. I am not a better person. I believe in Karma. And I hope I get to see it happen.

But somehow I still have to make peace with this. Somehow, I have to believe that being fired is not synonymous with loser, worthless and failure. Somehow, I have to hold my head up high and hide my tears from my children. Somehow, I have to let this go.

That's What I Love About Sundays

Today was one of those Sundays that make family memories. Church, lunch together, some sibling TV time while mom and dad went grocery shopping, then yard work, a bike ride and dinner.

Since we rented our home until I was a senior in high school, we never really did yard work together. We lived in an enormous duplex with the home owner on the other side of our living room wall. There was a large back yard with plenty of space for two kids to run around but we weren't allowed. Mr. Grumpy Pants didn't want us ruining his lawn. Instead, we spent a lot of time at our neighbor's house (a carbon copy of ours) helping to trim the hedges and skim the pool. By the time my parents bought the house, I had school, track, work and college applications to keep me busy. In fact, I only mowed my first lawn last summer.

Anyway, the kids "helped" weed the gravel space in front of our picture window. This is a very Italian-Catholic neighborhood and the realty website pictures show the previous owners had a statue of the Virgin Mary in that space. I'm thinking these nice frogs from BJ's. The kids pulled about 2.5 weeds each and then decided to ride their bikes.

Andrew and I weed whacked, mowed, and trimmed back a rose bush and our backyard neighbors vine-type bush that was overtaking our back yard. After the yard was cleaned and the tools were away, Bekkah and I rode our bicycle to Walgreen's to pick up some pictures for her summer homework journal. Rebekkah (apparently) entertained herself outside while she watched the bike and I ran in to get the pictures.

We ended the night with a delicious family dinner (recipe below) that Tucker refused to eat. Instead he threw a temper tantrum and screamed "PASTA!" until he fell asleep. 

He's still on the dining room floor. I may make an outline before I carry him off to bed.


Grilled Oregano Chicken (serves 6)

Ingredients
6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
1 cup chopped fresh oregano
5 green onions, thinly sliced
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1/3 cup olive oil
2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp salt
non-stick spray

Preparation
1. Place the chicken breast halves between 2 sheets of wax paper and using a mallet or heavy pan, pound to 3/4" thickness.
2. Combine the oregano, green onions, vinegar, oil, pepper and salt in a large Zip Lock bag.
3. Add the chicken to the Zip Lock, seal bag and turn to coat. Chill for 2-4 hours.
4. Lightly coat a grill rack with non-stick cooking spray and preheat the grill to medium.
5. Remove the chicken from the marinade and place the marinade in a saucepan.
6. Place the chicken on the hottest section of the grill and cook for 10 minutes, turning once.
7. Move the chicken to the cooler section of the grill and cook for 6 minutes, turning once, until cooked through (165 F).
8. Place the saucepan with the marinade in it over medium-high heat, bring to a boil and cook five minutes.
9. To serve, spoon the sauce over the chicken.

We served with brown rice and steamed green beans.

Mystic Aquarium

My brother and sister-in-law are off in Mexico celebrating their 10-year anniversary so my mom has my nephew for the week. For someone not used to chasing a 2-year-old, that makes for long days. And Andrew has been in Chicago since Monday, making it a long week for me. So Friday we decided to take the kids to Mystic Aquarium to distract them from torturing us (and each other).

Around 10:30a.m. we piled the kids into the car and headed to Connecticut. Of course there was an accident, so we sat in virtual stand still traffic for 25 minutes. By the time we got to Mystic, it was noon so we decided to feed the little ones before heading in to see the fishes. Lunch at Jake's Wayback Burgers was good. I had chili and Cesar salad minus the dressing, Parmesan cheese and croutons. In other words, I had chili and lettuce. The kids had hot dogs and french fries (I snuck a few, they we delicious) and my mom had a juicy looking burger.

The aquarium was PACKED. I thought I was so smart since the weather was kind of drizzly and a lot of the exhibits are outside, but apparently, a lot of other moms are just as brilliant as me. The natural starting point of Mystic is the beluga whales. They were adorable, doing all sorts of gymnastics and tricks in the water. Otherwise known as mating to us adults. We moved on to the seals & sea lions. Then the penguins. About as quickly as you read that. Two year olds have very short attention spans so we were on the move a lot. Then we hit the bog and the frogs. I'm not sure what was so amazing about the frogs but we spent a lot of time looking for frogs hiding amongst the leaves.

We tried to take some cute family photos at the end of the walkway, but Tucker was having none of it. Thanks buddy.

The inside fish exhibits were also a big hit. Tucker and his cousin were very excited to find Nemo and Dory swimming around the tanks but their attention spans and patience were declining dramatically (especially since they weren't old enough to pet the baby alligator). So we called it a day and decided to head home. My mom promised Bekkah a Memere/Granddaughter day at the aquarium later this summer to make up for the abbreviated day today. 

At this point, I was kind of desperate for a diet Coke. So I stopped at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru for a water. I ordered a coolata for my mom, a bagel toasted w/butter for Bekkah and two chocolate sprinkled donuts for the boys. They tried to give me an iced coffee. They asked if I had ordered a bagel w/cream cheese. Nope. I had to ask for my water. As we drove away we realized we had a bagel with cream cheese and two rainbow sprinkled donuts. WHY even bother asking me what I wanted if you were just going to give me whatever you felt like grabbing anyway?

The Jonas Brothers

Last night I took Bekkah to her first ever concert. Let me rephrase that. I attempted to take Bekkah to her first ever concert. A little background...

Remember the sleepover the night before? 5.5 hours of sleep for a girl who averages 11-12 a night. I made her come home and rest in the afternoon (she watched a movie) and she slept for the hour it took to get there but we were still in sleep deficit. The show started at 7:30 (her usual bed time) with about 20 minutes of some DJ. Then an hour for the opening act and another 45 minutes for the DJ again. At one point she yelled, outraged, "This is a Jonas Brother's concert! Why aren't the Jonas Brothers singing? It doesn't make any sense!" 

So now we are two hours past her bed time and the Jonas Brothers finally take the stage. 5,000 teenage girls go ballistic. Rebekkah starts to whimper and say that she wants to go home. She perks up at the third song, Play My Music (she knows that song from Camp Rock). Then they began song #4, a love ballad. The place erupted. Rebekkah covered her ears, burst into tears and began begging me to take her home. 

So we left. I made sure to stop about three times to ask if she was *really* sure she wanted to leave because once we left we couldn't come back inside. She was *really* sure she wanted to leave so we exited with the state troopers who were guarding the gate chuckling at us. 

About a block or two away Bekkah was incredulous that she could STILL hear the concert. Clearly they were too loud. We stopped and listened for a few minutes, took a picture of the Boston skyline and headed home. 

Happy Birthday

This past weekend we had FIVE birthday parties. Seriously. None of which were random school friends I had only heard of in passing so we were committed to all five. Or ready to be committed. You know, whatever.

We kicked off the weekend with my cousins 16th birthday party sleepover (which was really more for Kaitlyn than the rest of us, but still required a card, gift, and transportation so it counts). I pulled up to my aunt's house to see my cousin and 7 or 8 of her friends on the front lawn, in bikinis, washing their hair with the hose. Luckily, the sex offender web site doesn't have anyone listed as living within camcorder distance.

Saturday, Bekkah was shuttled from guitar lessons to a Jazzercise party for one of her Girl Scout friends to a bounce house party for the sixth birthday of family friends. I missed out on Jazzercise but got to the bounce house party in plenty of time to see our friends husband nearly topple the whole thing. This is why adults should never go into a bounce house (end of sentance?), encourage the kids to attack, and then retreat to the corner. 

While at the party, we got to watch a mama and papa bird feed their young in a birdhouse in the backyard. I wasn's fast enough to get a picture of an actual feeding so I braved a parental attack and got this (meh) shot a baby bird inside the nest. In fact, I have about 15 of these exact same shots. Finally figured out that I wasn't going to get a face shot since the babies were looking up at the camera hoping for some regurgitated worms. Sorry guys, the iPhone doesn't have the feature. Yet.

Sunday brought my grandfather's 90th surprise birthday party. Yes. 90. And no, he is not in a nursing home or wheelchair. He doesn't have dementia. He doesn't even use a walker. Just two semi-functional hearing aides. In fact he was even driving up until about two years ago (which is really more scary than impressive). 

The weekend ended by dropping Bekkah off at another Girl Scout friend's house for a sixth birthday sleepover. The term "sleep" being used very loosely here. Apparently the girls didn't actually fall asleep until 11:00pm and were up at 4:30 this morning.

Anyway, all this birthday partying and baby birds and 90th birthday cake (which I didn't eat) has me thinking of life and the precious moments we miss every day. 

So today, I am going to look at my kids baby pictures with them. And hug them tighter. And enjoy their rambling stories about who played with what toy at day care. And tonight, I am going to watch my baby girl enjoy her first real concert. She is growing up so fast. Too fast. 

The Virgin Diet - Week 1 Day 6

As my husband puts it, we have now been eating like rabbits for almost two weeks. I have lost a total of 7.2 pounds (!!!) and Andrew is down almost 15 pounds.

I have been having protein shakes of fruit, ice, coconut milk, and vegan protein powder every morning. I like the shakes though I wonder how I will feel about them once winter and the cold weather hits. Andrew is drinking his coffee black (!) and his iced coffee with unsweetened coconut milk and stevia. For a man whose children order his medium five milks, four sugars, two pumps of caramel swirl whenever they pull up to a pretend drive through in their Cozy Coupes, this accomplishment is on par with being able to fly. It has become easier to pass on the diet Coke and candy, though this 95 degree plus heat is not making it easy to pass on the ice cream.

I have discovered some amazing recipes. I made seasoned quinoa pilaf with grilled chicken for my kids, sister-in-law and nephew the other night. Tucker hates dinner on principle, all we have to say is, "It's time for dinner" and he throws himself on the floor screaming, "I hate that!!" He doesn't even have to know what is for dinner. So he ate one piece of chicken. Bekkah repeatedly said how good dinner was but she only had two or three small bites. The rest of us, my two year old nephew included, gobbled it down. (Well, the two year old had it smeared all over his face and shirt and presumably got some in his mouth at the same time.) It was equally as good microwaved the next day for lunch and cold, thrown over a tossed salad.

Seasoned Quinoa Pilaf with Grilled Chicken

 Ingredients

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

2 tablespoons olive oil, divided

3 medium shallots, chopped

1 red pepper, diced

1 ½ tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

1 ½ cups Quinoa

1/4 cup dry white wine

1 ½ cups vegetable broth

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp cumin

1/2 cup toasted almonds (sliced or slivered)

Preparation

1. Heat grill pan over medium-high heat.
2. Coat chicken breasts with 2 tsp olive oil, ½ tsp salt and ¼ tsp pepper.
3. Place chicken on a grill pan and cook 5 minutes each side, or until no longer pink inside. Remove from heat and set aside.
4. While chicken is cooking, heat large saucepan over medium-high heat.
5. Add chopped shallots, red pepper and remaining salt and pepper to saucepan and sauté 2-3 minutes until softened.
6. Make a space in the center of the pan and add 2 tsp of oil and Quinoa and coat. Cook 2-3 minutes.
7. Add wine and cook until absorbed and evaporated.
8. Add vegetable broth, oregano and cumin. Bring to boil, reduce to simmer and cover.
9. Simmer covered 15 minutes. Remove from heat and let sit covered and additional 10 minutes.
10. Chop the chick into bite size pieces and mix into quinoa.
11. Top with toasted almonds and serve.

Serves 4-6 people